Dealing with False Claims of Parental Alienation (part 3)

Diving deeper into the long-term effects of experiencing or being caught in the middle of parental disputes, especially those involving false claims of parental alienation, can be serious and pervasive, significantly impacting various aspects of an individual's life well into adulthood. While it is true people often minimize conditions like depression and anxiety, viewing them as less severe or temporary, the reality is that these issues can have deep and lasting consequences.

Here's how these long-term effects can impact different areas of a person's life:

Careers

- Performance and Productivity: Long-term emotional issues can impair concentration, decision-making, and productivity, affecting job performance. Many clients perseverate on the ideas of their case during work. When your former partner, who you used to be extremely close with, now has you questioning your own reality, this leads you to question your own reality at work. This sounds like “Does my boss trust me, do my co-worker’s have faith in my abilities, etc?”

- Career Progression: Individuals with unresolved emotional issues may have difficulty handling stress or conflict in the workplace, limiting their career advancement opportunities.

- Job Stability: Anxiety and depression can lead to increased absenteeism or a higher likelihood of job-hopping, affecting long-term job stability and satisfaction.

-Time Off: If someone is falsely accused of parental alienation, they will be required to undergo a litany of therapeutic and psychological interventions. These may include, but are not limited to: Mental Health Evaluations, individual therapy, supervised visitation, and reunification therapy. Therapists should be aware of the weekly time requirments put on a parent and a child in these types of cases.

-Finances: These cases present their own financial challenges for the accused. They must spend money to hire experts to refute the abusers’ claims. That alone can lead to anxiety at work “I need more money,” or “I need to work more hours.” Therapists should be appropriately compensated for their expertise. However, they should also keep in mind the ultimate goal is to help children in abusive situations.

Marriages and Relationships

- Relationship Dynamics: Early experiences of manipulation or conflict can influence perceptions of normalcy in relationships, potentially leading to unhealthy dynamics, such as codependency or avoidance of conflict.

- Trust Issues: Trust issues stemming from childhood can make it difficult to form and maintain intimate relationships, leading to challenges in marriages and partnerships.

- Communication Problems: Difficulty in managing emotions and communicating effectively can strain relationships, making it hard to resolve conflicts or express needs and desires healthily.

-People pleasing: Growing up in a home with false allegations of parental alienation or being a victim of false alienation, the person feels the need to say yes to everything. They hold the belief that if they say yes to everything and everyone, they will now be worthy of the unconditional love they have desired for years.

-Overexplaining: They may feel the need to over communicate their wants, needs, and desires. Due to the previous manipulation and abuse, along with the false allegations, they do not want to be seen as the “bad guy” so they will over explain everything. This can lead to, at a minimum annoyance, at worst, confusion in a healthy stable relationship.

Relationships with Their Children

- Parenting Styles: Individuals affected by their childhood experiences may either replicate the same parenting styles they were exposed to or swing to the opposite extreme in an attempt to compensate. If a child grows up in a household of where there were false claims of parental alienation, this will lead to confusion in the best way to model health communication with their child.

- Emotional Availability: Struggles with anxiety, depression, or unresolved emotional issues can impact a parent's emotional availability, affecting their ability to connect with and support their children.

- Intergenerational Transmission: Without intervention, there's a risk of passing on unhealthy coping mechanisms or unresolved emotional issues to the next generation.

-Enmeshment- This term was pioneered by psychologist Salvador Minuchin and is generally describes where personal boundaries in the family are loosely defined which leads to a lack of autonomy. Examples of this are “you know how your mother is”, “that’s just the way your father does things”. More realistic examples of enmeshment are when a parent uses the child (no matter the age) for their OWN emotional support. This carries over into adulthood when the parent tries to triangulate the adult child against the other parent.

Drug/Alcohol Use/Abuse

- Coping Mechanisms: Individuals may turn to drugs or alcohol as a way to self-medicate or escape from emotional pain, leading to substance use disorders.

- Impact on Life Domains: Substance abuse can negatively affect all areas of life, including health, relationships, employment, and legal issues.

- Recovery Challenges: The complexities of dealing with both substance use disorders and underlying emotional issues can make recovery more challenging. Specifically, they may struggle with the 8th step “Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.” On the surface this does not make sense. However, a child who was alienated will deal with guilt and shame from not speaking with the parent they were alienated against. Therefore, they may feel the need to “make amends” even though, truly the adult child in recovery is actually a victim of abuse which requires significant unpacking. This realization could lead to its own set of unique challenges.

Criminal History

- Risk Behaviors: Increased stress and poor coping mechanisms can lead to higher engagement in risk behaviors, potentially resulting in criminal activities.

- Legal and Social Consequences: Involvement in criminal activities can have lasting legal and social consequences, affecting employment, relationships, and social standing.

Addressing the long-term effects of depression, anxiety, and related issues requires comprehensive support, including therapy, medication (when appropriate), and community support systems. Acknowledging the seriousness of these conditions and seeking appropriate help is crucial for individuals to heal and build healthier futures. Early identification and intervention play a significant role in mitigating these long-term effects, emphasizing the importance of recognizing and addressing these issues as early as possible.